But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
