Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
