I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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