Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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