its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
