what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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