So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
