Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
