I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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