Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize