Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Two words: blizzard sex
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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