uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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