Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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