so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
