you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
