I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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