Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
