my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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