i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My vagina is officially offended.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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