So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Be still, my beating vagina.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
