Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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