worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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