Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
