What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
