i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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