I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
