so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize