You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
