woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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