Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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