Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
