Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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