so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
