Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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