i barfeds in our rink
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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