I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
