i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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