i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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