mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
