just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize