my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
His hands were made for my vagina.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
