Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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