i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
