I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
