dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
