don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
