why didn't you poke me back
her vagine was all disorganized.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
