you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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