WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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