I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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