This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
