Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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