I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
