Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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