Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
