If i come over, it means nothing
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
