wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize