Ambien. No doubt about it.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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