this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
