its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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