He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
