the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
