you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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