I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
