I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
